The sparks, how they

set my world afire

Fast and uncanny

without reason i stare

i see these sparks

how they fly from

barren, crude steel

beautiful pieces of the

same unity

unique, shaped differently

but they all shine

they all shine in the dark

 

how we are all sparks

how we fly from the

barren, crude steel

of faceless conformity

we are all so unique

but we shine

we continue to shine in the dark

 

and i reach out, to touch the sparks

and feel them seep beneath my skin

to become part of me

as i become part of them

and wonder.

could i reach out to touch a person

and have them seep beneath my skin

as well?

 

the sparks, how they

burn through my eyes

i never forget them

i never forget anyone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I woke up in a dream today
To the cold of the static and put my cold feet on the floor
Forgot all about yesterday
Remembering I'm pretending to be where I'm not anymore
A little taste of hypocrisy
And I'm left in the wake of the mistake slow to react
Even though you're so close to me
You're still so distant
And I can't bring you back

It's true the way I feel
Was promised by your face
The sound of your voice
Painted on my memories
Even if you're not with me
I'm with you

You / Now I see / Keeping everything inside
You / Now I see / Even when I close my eyes

I hit you and you hit me back
We fall to the floor the rest of the day stands still
Fine line between this and that
When things go wrong I pretend the past isn't real
Now I'm trapped in this memory
And I'm left in the wake of the mistake slow to react
Even though you're close to me
You're still so distant
And I can't bring you back

It's true the way I feel
Was promised by your face
The sound of your voice
Painted on my memories
Even if you're not with me
I'm with you

You / Now I see / Keeping everything inside
You / Now I see / Even when I close my eyes

No, no matter how far we've come
I can't wait to see tomorrow
No, no matter how far we've come I
I can't wait to see tomorrow

 

you can leave

but you can never escape from this

travel the world around

but you'll never find what you're searching for

 

it's always been here

swimming about in your mind

sometimes it hides under fear

but you've never left it behind

it's always been here

it's always been here

 

and i

just thought i should tell you

until you figure yourself out

you'll never be able to care

about anyone else

 

by fuel

 

 

it's all i want

it's all i needed now it's through

it all comes back to you

the only one

the one i needed i abuse

more color for the bruise

 

and so i sing this song for you

there's nothing left for me to do

 

goodbye, dear one

venus, i thought you'd bless me too

so selfish to presume

 

and so i sing this song for you

and i hope that what is true

will find a way to you

i sing this song for you

 

venus never showed the way

the stars would not be sold

heaven stole the light of day

and we were never told

so dark the day...

so much for life, for life and love

 

and now its done

the color always changes hue

from bright to black and blue

 

 

Helplessness, beneath dripping willow boughs

how my eyes longingly creep out

from beneath troubled brows

scanning horizons, searching about

 

didn't i even stop to think

that trying so hard was another pathetic song?

cause in a moment i'll blink

and everything i've wanted will still be gone

 

your tale full of pathetic rhymes

how your love was lost one night

we've heard it all many many times

maybe this time it won't be so trite

maybe this time at least the words won't rhyme

 

but i just cant keep

from making these sounds of sickened loss

how the thoughts, they seep

they grow through my heart, a never-ending moss

 

didn't i even stop to think

that pushing so hard wouldn't get me far?

guess i'll just take another drink

soon we'll all be shooting stars

 

and i could take you places

make your soul take flight

but now your heart

it is cold at the traces

 

just one more day

one more night

to hold your soul in my hands

and make sure its alive

 

just one more night

and i could tear down your walls

revive you, return your sight

just once more please

before my heart falls

 

I'm not like them--i have sight

i'm not like them--i have light

 

just one more night

let me feel your hands your heart

oh how i wish with all my might

that our souls will never depart

yet they already have

 

i'm not like them--i have sight

i'm not like them--i have light

 

just one more time

just one more night

to see your face

i swear i won't let your soul die

just one more night

Drive Away

by SF

 

Days pass by

blind faith in a rut

nothing quite like lies

especially when you tell them to yourself

 

Can't seem to let you go

how it sickens the flesh

to fall down so low

especially when you fall inside yourself

 

How i reached

found my arms sent back to my sides

how i tried

so hard my soul broke and cried

how i fell

cause i thought someone would be there to catch me

 

Life passes by

as i smile and wonder

its an old mystery

when we think about what might have been

but still we let hours go by

we let the days spin

and my head spins too

 

How you drive away

your eyes avoiding anyone who might be me

I'm not like them

I'm not like them

How you drive away

your eyes fearing anyone like me

I'm not like them

I'm not like them

I'm not like them

Drive away

drive away

how you've driven me away

 

Blackout

 

See you

Out in the city

Searching for the light

Light to end this pain of night

Night

Night to end this pain of light

Night to end us all

 

Tendency to explode

From fires within

Take my breath away

Deliver this soul tonight

 

Feel you

Seeping through my veins

Searching for my light

Light to end this pain of night

Night

Night to end this pain of light

Night to end us all

 

Looked outside

But never found the insides

Hardened shell

Take my breath away

Deliver this soul tonight

 

Know you

Staring me down

Searching for my light

Light to end this pain of night

Night

Night to end this pain of light

Night to end us all

 

Come back

Save this night for me

Come back

Take this light from my hand

Light to end this pain of night

Night

Light to end our night.

 

don't i remember

how the wind blew through my life

tousled my hair

sweet caresses

don't i remember?

 

its not december

but still my soul hibernates

please let me remember

tonight, while i'm lying awake

 

don't i remember

the rain pouring over a deserted soul

how the thunder in the valley echoes,

in my empty heart, it's a hole

don't i remember?

 

its not december

but still my soul hibernates

please let me remember

tonight while i'm lying wide awake

 

she was the wind

     blowing through my life

she was the rain

     pouring over my desert soul

and still

     the thunder rolls

 

its not december

but still my soul hibernates

please let me remember

tonight, while i'm lying wide awake

 

its no use anymore

the storm seems to be gone

or maybe its just waiting outside my door

i've been alone and tired for too long

 

don't you remember?

please let me remember

don't you remember

please let me remember

tonight, while i'm lying wide awake

 

 

 

 

wings

 

she is not an angel

it looks like she is

but no one is an angel

she is a person with wings

simply stated

 

why a person with wings?

the wings...perhaps a burden

perhaps as light as human hands

all depending upon how they are used

 

will she fly>?

one cannot wonder

or will she simply stretch them

and then retreat to that which she knows best?

 

sitting quietly

legs curled beneath her

staring ahead at some electronic screen but her mind elsewhere

knowing

seeing

how the night would arrive

how the moon would overflow and flood

waterlogged

 

she spreads her wings

she leaves this world behind

 

it lies beyond

the dream

that no one remembers

when they wake up

 

weeds jump up

through the grass

yellow, brown, and tan

 

some people say they're pests

they don't deserve to live in this yard

 

what if they were

just blades of grass only not green

but different colors: yellow, brown and tan?

 

if you squint your eyes

hard enough you might

just see green

 

if you close your eyes

it becomes a garden

 

why can't we just learn to close our eyes?

 

these glasses don't block the sun

so why do i wear them?

they don't help me see better

my vision is perfect

 

maybe i'm just hiding from the world

 

how do you disappear completely?

if i just stop seeing myself maybe i will.

 

but i've never really seen myself before

mirrors don't count

so if i've never seen myself

maybe i'm invisible

 

Digging my fingers into the paint tray

i felt the anticipation that only an artist feels when on the verge of a discovery.  the sun glared upon the hot cement, and my knees were aching as i squinted towards the sky, beyond the concrete courtyard that we used as our painting studio.

 

A new day...i whispered to myself.  The familiar scent of exterior housepaint wafted through the hot air, and bustling commotion bubbled through the theatre door.  My fingers, now soaked to the bone with muddy green paint, were ready to spring into action.   Staring at the rough edged piece of plywood, i felt a pang of anxiety.  reaching out to the piece of wood, i prepared for the first stroke.  in an instant a single swipe across the wood.  the paint oozed across the surface as if it had a life of its own, as if it knew what it wanted to become. what it wished to be

or perhaps what it wished me to be.

 

A man meets a guru in the road.  The man asks the guru, "Which way is success?"  The guru does not speak but points off into the distance.

The man, thrilled by the prospect of quick and easy success, rushes off in the appropriate direction.  Suddenly, there is a loud "SPLAT!"  The man limps back tattered and beaten--assuming he must have misinterpeted the message.  He repeats the question to the guru, who again points silently in the same direction. 
The man obediently walks off once more.  This time, the "SPLAT" is deafening, and when the man crawls back, he is bloody, tattered, and irate.  "I asked you which way is success," he screams to the guru.  "I followed the directions you indicated and all i got was SPLATTED!  No more of this pointing- TALK!"

 

Only then does the guru speak.  He says "Success is that way...just a little past---the SPLAT."

 

They say that the images we see are upside-down translations of our world as signals sent from our brain.  If that is so, then if we were shown what the real world were like, would we see everything upside down as compared ot what we are used to?

 

They say dogs are not completly colorblind, but only see a certain percentage of color hues.  If that is so, is the percentage based upon what we see being the "perfect total?"  Could it be that we ALSO only see a certain percent of the full color scale in our world?  What are we missing?  I want to know if the keyboard i am clicking my fingers upon right now is real, and if so, is there more to it than what i feel?

 

How much of my life is an illusion?  How many subtexts have i imagined?  How many days have turned out to be dreams, and when i wake up home in my bed, I am a frustrated high school student who dreams of college?  if this is a dream, let me sleep still. 

 

In boot camp it was my lot

to launch from the wide earth a rocket in a single shot

the which i could not love the less

so deadly was my loneliness

of a wild nuclear bomb with very loud sounds

and the vast land mines that were spread around

but when the night had thrown her pall

upon that bomb--as upon all

in its stilly melody,

my infant spirit would awake

to the teror of the lone

 

i looked in the mirror one day and realized everything i noticed about everyone else...in my own face.  its so amazing how related we all are and we dont even know it.  and i look into my eyes and see the eyes of every man that ever lived, every person that ever opened their eyes.  and my hands, the hands of anyone. they might not even be mine.  they might be your hands.  because you might be me.  and i may be you looking at me.  i know i am inside you.  i can see you so clearly.

 

my philosophy, we'ere not even here.  do you ever get that feeling in your heart when you think youre not here anymore?  yes, you see everything happening, but you keep thinking "this is not real, im not really here...but i am really here..." yet every time you try to convince yourself of that fact it gets harder to believe.  i know why that happens. 

 

everything we see here is a dream, a dream of one man.  and we are all characters in this great dream.  our purpose, to move the dream along, to bring the plot forward.  the night for this man is the entire history of the world for us--and when he wake sup in the morning the world ends.  the world dies like a single star in the imagination of a single man....gone forever.  but the next evening the man goes to sleep again...and the world is reborn...we are all born again, as infants, moving through life, teens, to adults to the ancients....and then we die...and more are born...the same sequence over and over again. 

 

and when i go to sleep at night, I dream of another world...and it goes on forever...because that's really what the universe is...people going to sleep and dreaming up new worlds.  waking up and the worlds are destroyed.  thats the universe. 

 

I remember sitting on the porch that night so many years ago, the stars shining so hard it seemed the sky was made of black construction paper with little holes cut through it.  and beyond was a light so bright that it could blind anyone.

 

maybe it was a fire.  not just like a fire in a fireplace, but a blazing inferno of a fire, just inches away from the paper... so close to burning it... so close to tearing the sky apart.

 

one star was brighter than most, and became increasingly brighter...i made a wish...not a wish for myself but a wish for every living thing.  because i knew that the hole in the paper would just keep growing as the fires beyond crackled.

 

and the voice through the hole would laugh at me, in a low almost unintelligible whisper.

 

"I will mangle your mind," it said to me, the voice droning like thousands of bees, while my ears began to ring

they never stopped ringing after that.

 

then i heard a crack. like an eggshell... only louder, thousands of times louder.  and the stars disappeared.  the lights of the city were gone.  the distant voices faded. disappeared. nothing. there was nothing. 

 

no night, no more earthly security.  the air grew cold. amazingly cold.  and i curled up on that bench, only thee was no more bench...i was floating on air...high above anything that ever made sense before...cold...the wind was deathly still...but i could still hear that distant whistling of something that wasn't there...yet somehow existed. 

 

just like a dream...something you couldn't reach out and touch, but you knew it was there...you remembered it...as it had been in your brain and in your passionas...and my mind floated.  thinking about all those horrible things that made life so beautiful... all the pain that made everything so clean...the wind whistled once again and everything was silent.

 

A crazier being from my birth

My spirit could barely control,

But now, abroad the face of madness,

Where wand'rest thou my soul?

In visions of the Ausylum of the New York Heights

I have dreamed of a sanity departed

But a waking dream of terror and fright

Hath left me insane-hearted.

 

 

A ride through the woods

I am a lone cowboy

I throw all my fate to the wind

I give all my hopes to the smoke.

 

And so i travel, boldly through life

not looking at the danger signs

not living for anyone but myself

how my loneliness has won.

 

what have i done?

what has happened?

I can't breathe this has gone too far.

my throat burns

insides full of black worms

 

i came to a waterfall

finally! i'm saved...this will help

and so i drink

and drink

and drink

 

and when i finally rise from the stream

my hair wet, face soaked

i reach to my throat

only there is no throat

i see it floating away

i open my mouth to scream

but all that comes out is a gurgle of blood.

 

now to ride off into the sunset once more

 

Hunched, his bizarre features awash in golden light, Bottom feels his ears prick up as Titania begins to disrobe. He is ugly--a jackass--but for a time she does not care. Her eyes may seem glazed over, as if under a spell--but Bottom is convinced she has always loved himalways known him. Titania is the beauty that he has always dreamed of, that has dwelled upon his mind since the beginning of time. He can see her in any flower, in any star that sheds light upon the still earth. The wind blows but not in a gusting manner; the breeze filters through the leaves of the forest and causes the lantern-light to flicker slightly. Bottom is momentarily distracted, and sees it in her eyes: the flicker of the lantern. For a second it seems as if there is a spark in her perfectly formed blue iris. As she puts her arms around him, he lets out a little snort through his donkey-shaped snout. The lantern-light flickers and grows deeper, Bottom can barely make out the Goddesses fine features.

Suddenly the wind dies down, the trees are still, not a sound can be heard. The flame in the lantern grows stronger, brighter; Titanias pupils change suddenly. Then she stirsas if awakening from a dream. The warmth of the light fades to a cold whiteness, and the spirit in her eyes changes from drugged arousal to horrified disgust. His breath catches suddenly, his eyes widen. The light has turned a rotten gray, and as she turns in blind hatred, he feels a tear emerge from his eye. The love is gone. The jackass has become a man once more, yet the man cannot cease being a jackass.